My new house seems to be lucky indeed. I am getting everything I wanted for so long. I feel blessed! After resting for 3 months, I have finally started looking for job. My parents thought I needed a break after a hectic semester schedule. They were right but being idle was the last thing I had wanted to be. So, I started working as a freelance writer last month and since then writing has become my passion. Before that, I had been a moody and junkie writer (yes, zuni is being humble here :p). Anyways, my maid-hunting mission has ended and finally, we were able to find two honest maids. Mom is satisfied now.

Took a job test yesterday at Maersk. The test was easy but the route wasn’t. We live in a city that happens to be the financial capital of our country and the areas bubbling day and night with business activities don’t even have proper traffic system let alone well-lit roads. That made me sad or was it the weary journey that caused ache in all muscles? Who knows? But I seriously wished we had proper roads. On the way I saw my old house being pulverized to put up new high apartment building. I felt myself longing for old times and I craved to stop them from demolishing what stood like a monument of my childhood. Why did you take away what was mine?

Nothing is better than greeting Friday with your first long awaited paycheck. Thank you boss and thank you S for bringing it. I am blessed. :D

Mahnoor

Mahnoor darling. Daughter of my very close friend and my mentor Tahira. Miss you a lot girl.

*Picture courtesy: Mesh's photo album ;).

Things are finally settling down and so do I. Life is getting smoother now. My tonsils are healing too. They had drained every bit of creative energy from my soul. I have not written much since I got tonsillitis. May be because my life has become still or may be because events seem to have no inspiring effect on me. Life suddenly seems empty – like a lonely deserted passageway. Of course, the city is buzzing with activities – activities that can shatter one’s hopes and dreams, yet they are unable shatter the silence inside. A kind of soulagement I had always sought.

Murder took place at my sister’s college – a cold-blooded murder of a collegian – a regrettable by-product of city’s politically charged activities. This is something I don’t like about this city. Now students can’t go to college even to take prelims. Three-day mourning has been announced, something that is quickly becoming a de rigueur. Mother have mercy where are we going to end up?

Happy Birthday, Gul!

May it be the best yet, a celebration that you can kick back and remember fondly when you really are old! Hugs!

Spring Dawn

Oversleeping in spring I missed dawn
now I hear
cries of birds -
everywhere.

Tonsillitis

Not until I had gone to see a doctor, had I been aware of tonsillitis. Yeah, it’s a recent discovery in my illness and requires a full course of antibiotic. Besides, it’s a relapse that I am suffering. Well, doctor has prescribed other medications also to relieve the symptoms. I will be fine soon, InshaAllah, possibly tomorrow. A dose of antibiotic is all you need to pull through. It will be a tremendous relief. The last four days had been one of my worst ordeals. I wasn’t able to speak yesterday.

P.S. Did I mention the sedatives the doctor has prescribed? I will be sleeping the sleep of the just!

Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache. Ache.
My head aches. My throat aches. My arms ache. My legs ache. All my muscles shout: Ache

O’ Lord! This flu is killing me! Aaaaaaaaaachooooooooooo!!! Ooper se ye fever, can’t find panadol right now. And the shops are closed - a courtesy of yesterday’s suicidal blast. God bless my soul!

Today’s msn status: In bed, got flu.

Happy Birthday to Hina!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEAR HINA
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

MAY YOU HAVE MANY MOREEEEEEEEE .....


Hope you have a blast and dhamaka @ susraal. LOL! Cheers :0)

I said maghrib prayer with mom. We could find only one prayer rug in the carton we brought and so we both had to share it. While praying I could feel her motherly aura around me. I think all mothers have this special emanation of motherhood that surrounds us the moment we enter their vicinity. The radiance of motherly feeling, love and gentleness effulges everything around. Even our spirits! It seems that all mothers are united souls, of an ambience, sharing a single feeling of motherhood. Hail all mothers! Hail Mothers’ Union!

P.S. I am going to pray with her everyday until we find other prayer rugs.

So, finally, I am in my new home. We moved here on 8th but my pc was shifted on 7th, otherwise I would have scribbled something in the diary. Things here as expected, are pretty different and weird or that’s what it seems to me. Acceptance has always been hard for me; it’s not old age paranoia as most people think – just that some people find it hard to get accustomed to a new situation and their ability to cope becomes hopelessly crippled. So is the case here as the pc has been moved to my sister’s room. Yeah, no more privacy privileges (they say privacy is a privilege though I consider it a birth right :p) and open access to writing during insomniac fits. Well this is how it goes. Anyways, I got very interesting neighbors and they are not filthy rich as I had anticipated. The environment is nice, so are the people and so is my new home :).

Hopeful thought of the day: I might be able to get my own laptop. :)

Food for thought

Potato chips are source of instant energy especially when you have skipped your lunch. And they can bring some crisp ideas also - couple of benefits of potato chips that I discovered today.

I am on the move, so these days I am paying farewell visits to my friends and acquaintances that live nearby. And so are my friends. Jenny dropped in on here today. Meeting with her has always been a pleasure. It reminds that how blessed I am. Our friendship has come a long way. Been friends since school days. I remember how sad I was when she moved to Clifton, thinking I won’t be able to meet her often but we stayed in touch through phone. Many times, we happened to talk after 5 or 6 months but when we talk, it seemed like we have been talking for ages. There was so much to catch on to and so much to spill out. People like her, sincere and mild-hearted, are hard to find in this uncanny world.

Something she wrote on the card she brought:

It is said:

To be happy
For an evening
Have a party
To be happy
For life
Find a nice friend!

Which I think I have done by finding you.

How cute! So sweet of you, hon. :)

Thanks J for visiting and for the priceless presents especially potato chips. All the best for your wedding. I hope all goes happy and well, and I'm very sure it will, InshaAllah.

Dur jo aaj hein
Yaad atey to hein
Khwaab adhoorey sahi
Khwaab saharey to hein

Aaj bhi meri rahein rokti hein
Yaadein teri daaman khenchti hein
Bhool chuke hein jo humein
Yaad atey to hein

Saddiyon k fasle aaj hein darmian
Ho jain magar jitni bhi dooryan

Aap jahan bhi rahein
Aap hamarey to hein
Khwaab adhoorey sahi
Khwaab saharey to hein

Aaj bhi meri rahein rokti hein
Yaadein teri daaman khenchti hein
Bhool chuke hein jo humein
Yaad atey to hein

Jaaney kab milein terey merey raastey
Aas tootey nahi yaad itna rahey

Raat dhalni to hai
Aaney ujaley to hein

---- Khwaab by Junoon

So, hina has said her farewells, packed and moved, to the new home. She’s going to start a new chapter of her life in a different city, in a different home, and will be forming new relations, with same names but with the suffix in-law – it’s more like living in a different world. That would be her world – a whole new world that revolves around just one person: Her husband. I don’t think I realized how sad I was going to be until the day she left. It gradually sunk in then that she is no more around to tease me when I am watching my favourite movie. No more her to dress me up for any event (and I had received compliments every time from everyone, still owe her for that), no more her to cook lunch for me (trust me, she’s a great cook), no more her to make me listen to all those lovey-dovey songs that my ears had forgotten. She stood up for me when people tried to bully me, she sided with me when I decided to leave the group, and she helped me in final year project when my dumb idiot group member had gotten over my nerves. And it’s the test of time that is the hardest. Besides, my sisters and two college friends, hina stood by me through it all. She is responsible for the few smiles I have managed in the worst of times. I will miss hina! I will miss her deeply.

Wish her all the best for the marriage life. May the angels always be with her, Ameen!

I have discovered that writing in some respects is quite therapeutic. So is drinking coffee in chilly winters. So is eating french-fries with a liter bottle of pepsi. So is crying with my head in pillow. So is listening to enrique iglesias' song. So is walking along seashore on summer nights. So is reading classics in winter. And so is surprising people by getting up as early as 8 am on a holiday. So is looking myself into the mirror and remembering compliments from people who really matter. And so is coming across reminiscences of past while cleaning cupboard.

Looking at my school, college and university notebooks – use case and activity diagrams, diagrams of frog’s heart and respiratory system, physical balance, which I had drawn thousand times for practice, and some ‘other’ interesting diagrams along with comments drawn to overcome the boredom felt during lectures; plethora of photostat notes – that weren’t touched but the certainty of simply having them had been a major relief during exams; my sketch-books and year-books, colour and paint boxes, sheets of stickers and tattoos, drawing sheets of my sister that were awarded to me as a token of love, hand-made cards ---- reminds me of my significant past. How can I throw them away when they had been a part of me?

Hyperactivity

Is zuni hyperactive? The answer is big YES! For all those who choose to disagree: Here is the proof!

She went to sleep around 5 am but woke up as early as 6:30 am – the moment her sisters invaded her room (yes, sisters can be annoying at times). She then prepared her breakfast, ironed her clothes, helped mom in preparing lunch (she is a good girl, isn’t she? :p). She had a long walk to UBL from uni gate, then to department under the scorching sunlight that can roast every inch of integument on the body (bless the time she decided to wear full sleeves shirt). She had a lunch with her friend at her house (ms. affbee who had been bugging her for the past ten days). Upon returning home, she cleaned her cupboard of study room, tossed old magazines and papers, stacked her books, gathered her other academic and stationary stuff; and finally placed them neatly in the carton. When she got done, she started writing this blog.

Yes! This is same old sluggish me. I can’t believe that after toiling for whole day, I am not even tired. My mind is loaded with thousand ideas and it is constantly reminding me of the tasks that I had pushed somewhere in the corner of mind, with the intention of doing them later. I have to write a report on HR’s seminar and an article about picnic arranged by ACM. I think I should better start writing before these pop-up reminders, from every nerve cell, damage my central nervous system.

New month, new home, new diary…

So, here I am, with new blog skin for my diary. It looks kind of majestic especially the writings in gold. It reminds me of the parchment that messengers used to bring and read before kings. How truly Majestic! Yes, I am in love with my new blog template. I remember how I searched endlessly for blog templates. God bless google! Finally I landed up at pink design. Still got lots of work to do. I have to put this beautiful sketch by Sam with proper credits to his site: exploding dog. Some of my blogs don’t show especially the ones in archives; have to work out that too.

We are moving to our new house next week. Besides my articles, paraphernalia, goods and chattels, I’ll be taking new home a nostalgic feeling, reminiscences of childhood, wonderful memories and above all: a feeling of an extreme, unseen, unknown loss, with me. How painful it is to have your roots grubbed up and planted to a different place.

Oh! How much I’ll miss all those things that belong here. How much I’ll miss shopping at this place. I’ll miss united king, metropolitan bank, my favorite cd and gifts shops, my tailor, my beauty parlour - all that happen to be at walking distance from my home. How much I’ll miss going out anytime for shopping. Life seems so easy when all you have to do is to just go and buy things when you want. How much I’ll miss shopping late on chand raat, till midnight with my sisters and friends – sitting under tents on a clear new moon night, waiting for hours and hours until past midnight for our turns for mehndi.

I have just realized that all I am lamenting is about missing shopping, but this is what bahadurabad is known for… a paradise for shopping in Karachi! Besides, I am so used to this independency of going out alone and getting anything I need. And yes! Its' a cri de coeur from a shoppaholic me.

to vote or not to vote...

It’s time to transfer leadership and power to our next generation, it’s time to shower these young academics with new responsibilities, and yeah it’s time to hold elections. So be it!

Today was an election day for ACM members. We voted…yep, that was the reason we were there. So, we voted some *selected* people who turned to be NOT so *selected* and the ones who were “actually” selected, got selected and in that way they were elected! That’s the story. Sounds pathetic? It is!

Ah! Going uni in such an unbearably hot weather requires more courage and much more patience. But since it was about the future of ACM and my department, I decided to fulfill my moral duty and sacred task of voting for new office bearers, no matter how irritating, mind-perturbing and soul-wrenching it was. Sorry for sounding so pessimistic but that’s what I felt after all this process. During four years of my graduation I have always been associated with ACM’s elections in one-way or the other. This year’s election was missing thrill and invigoration, which previous elections had carried. The electrifying atmosphere, great campaigns, political alliance, information divulgence and above all the sporting spirit which had always been there, BUT this election was so devoid of everything. I didn’t even know who were running for the office till very last moment. No one seemed deserving. No one! I had decided not to vote but then changed my mind and voted for people who sounded apparently sincere. And yes, I cheerfully voted for the cute junior who was running for president [;)] but poor guy lost.

Anyways, I have to finish this thriller Angels and Demons (by Dan Brown).