No work and no play makes xuni sad and an indolent being.

Today's song:

The following song is not the type I usually listen to, but somehow for reasons unknown to this writer as well, she feels she can relate to this one =p

Bleeding Love


Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing’s greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don’t care what they say

I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

-Leona Lewis

Today's thought

Man proposes, God disposes.


Happy Pakistan Day to all.

An unprecedented break

My readers have surely missed me and so have I. First it was my pc that went out of order and then it was me. Though still struggling with my illness, I am finally able to sit in front of pc and write about this ordeal.

Spending a week in a hospital was nothing less than a worst nightmare. What appeared to be a simple case of acute bronchitis, turned out to be an infection in my lung. My fragile body was attacked by some hideous virus and other microorganisms which luckily, were uncovered before they were able to fully surface. But the damage had been done because it’s almost been a month now since I was discharged from the hospital but recovery, contrary to my expectations, is quite slow. At one point it seemed that I won’t be able to pull thru. What I went thru at hospital was quite painful and depressing. As I see my scarred arms I recall the times when nurses searched for veins and sometimes arteries, to drain blood from my body. Ironically, I never felt that bad about self-mutilating. Anyways, that was the time when hopelessness and depression had completely engulfed me. My soul suffered more than my body as it always had. Although people there tried to show me the light but I was too blinded, by tears of suffering, that I couldn’t see it. All around me was misery and agony and I realized that humanity, at large, was suffering. Their hardships and distress increased the intensity of my pain. Even I felt death and I thought may be God wants me.

May be I deserved that. What else do you expect when you have been in a state of deep depression for five months – living on junk food; extreme addiction to caffeine; insomnia? Though not on surface, but my entire body system has become atrophied from long neglect. May be it will take couple of months to get back to normal life but I am happy that I m getting better day by day.

As life goes on, hope lives on.

Love you all.