Sometimes reality strikes you hard. Acceptance becomes difficult. Not that my life is not fucked up already, I have: parents who don't understand me or they don't want to, colleagues who are bitchy as ever, dreams that have been shattered and crushed, a flu that is consuming me and has left me atrophied. But these are not enough for Him, up there! More miseries, that's what I am fated to have. Its moments like these I need razor blade for reassurance.

People say, on this shab-e-barat, our kismet is decided and responsibilities are assigned to angels to carry out things as been determined. In my case, I can safely assume that more hardships will be added in my lot in life. I am cursed! No hope to go on. I just don't want to live anymore.