Pages

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Kitchen Insanity!

These days I am trying my luck in kitchen as I am told that a woman is not considered worthy unless she has mastered the art of cooking. Education and intellect are useless if she can't cook dozens of mouth-watering dishes which her parivaar can savour. One must be thinking with millions of recipes and videos online, plus dozens of cooking channels, it shouldn't be a tough task. But it is, actually! Mother in-laws, control freaks and egoistic like mine, don't like competent daughter in-laws. Kitchen is their kingdom... a forbidden kingdom! And they guard it like anything.

Like a warrior, you have to besiege the fortress. Entering and using her things (yes, everything belongs to her) without invoking her wrath is the first milestone. Once she has stopped making fuss about that you can proceed.

Here comes the battlefield now. She will not tell or guide you but whatever you cook will be critically assessed. If it is not good which of course, happens in the beginning, be prepared for the humiliation you and your family will be facing. And if it turns out to be good and tasty, there will be more faults. And if you dare try something new, time for the backlash! Oh, tomatoes are not used in this dish, or I am sure you didn't use ginger garlic paste in that. Oh, you waste things too much. Oh, why did you hold knife like that? Dayem!
And the most typical statement you hear: hamare yehan to aisa nahi pakta (we don't eat that)... liar!!! She does try all new dishes and will even try your recipes too.

So, I am struggling and juggling my way around the kitchen while reciting verse 13 from Surah Saaf: نَصْرٌ مِّن اللَّهِ وَفَتْحٌ قَرِيبٌ Help from Allah and a near victory.

2 comments:

WritingsForLife said...

good luck in the kitchen. It has never really been my favorite place :-)

Naveeda Shaikh said...

LOL. I had a bigger laughter while reading this.

Kitchen is not battelfied, but it becomes when woman makes something tasty and people lifts up their sword to protect so much food so that they can eat all their life, which causes war. :P

Man. One of the hilarious entries I ever read. Well-written. I was little perplexed after reading 'marital bliss'. Hoping an anonymous this side that everything is well on that side.

All the luck!