These days I am pondering my mental state because I am experiencing mood swings more and more frequently. One minute I'll be ecstatic with happiness and then suddenly in the next, it's as though my world has collapsed around me and left me to pick up the pieces on my own. Its times like these I feel overwhelmed and need caffeine or the sharp reassurance of a razor blade to let me come back down.

I have started cutting again and if these circumstances continued I think I would start smoking as well. It's hard to carry on when the people around don't understand you so why waste time in telling them all? Those who say that sharing lessens the pain are fucking liars. Only it makes you vulnerable and exposed to exploitation. I don't need their sympathy or forced concerns or hollow words of consolation, because there really is nothing wrong with me. I simply have an overactive imagination who likes to paint a picture in the worst light possible.
"Mind disorder? Preposterous! Drama queen. Stop acting it up."

So I just smile and bear it all alone. You wouldn't be able to guess the kind of emotions churning behind this façade of giggles. Now while typing and listening to this song, I solace my despondency with tears.