Today’s word: Enough

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough.

- REM: Losing my Religion

It’s just one of those days when I have nothing to say but feeling bad about me all the time.

I am a writer yet I am unable to connect words to my emotions. And I am a teacher… someone who can explain anything through words but…. words fail me now. Nothing can better describe what I feel at this moment except the tears in my eyes.

You were my sad story, the one that I will never be able tell because no one will believe me.

Everything breaks my heart, these days.

Happy Birthday Mother

The heavens open and angels come down. They spread their wings and blessings shower on earth. Happy Birthday Mother!

But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
-William Shakespeare

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wild world

Yeah, sometimes I do feel like a little superhero girl of Corrinne May’s song. It is a nice ballad.
Anyway, today was just another day at in school. Okay, not just another day but that’s what I felt. We had one dish party and I, along with two other computer teachers, hadn't brought a single dish (how typical of us? :D). Thanks to S who acted as a sole representative of computer department and made ‘choley’. Besides, I was struck with the fact that I might lose eight days pay for not showing up on Friday. O Lord!

Yesterday, I had felt so giddy that I wasn’t able to sit. I was worried and wondered how I would be able to go to school tomorrow. A foolish thought occurred that I was going to die. That worried me more and I was like O’ God! I hadn’t been able to wear the new dresses that hang in the wardrobe.
It was lightening followed by light drizzling an hour ago. Cold breeze carried droplings of rain, which I sensed while walking at terrace. Knowing my potential of catching flu at a speed of light, I decided to go downstairs. My solitary walks at terrace are becoming customary. I don’t know why.

Everybody wants a piece of me
And I just don't know where to run
I've got work piled up to my head
All I want to do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles with lemonade

Today’s word: Prayer

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

Autumn

Today confirmed my doubts about autumn. The morning was greeted by dry and a bit cold breeze carrying withered leaves with fresh colour of autumn tints and my hands called for a need of moisturizer.

I just finished reading Thomas Hardy’s fiction “Jude the Obscure”. Hardy has always been my favourite classical writer. He writes the most awesome fiction highlighting complexities of human psyche. He also dares to pen on the two most controversial topics: religion and morality. LOL!

Eid Mubarak

The argentine crescent hangs in the dark sky marking the end of Ramadan and beginning of festival of Eid ul –Fitr. Wish you all a happy and blessed Eid.

My first Eid without my uncle whose death has left a perpetual void in our lives. Whoever says that time alleviates the sorrow is wrong. Only it increases with time and the lacuna created by them in your heart keeps widening. You can’t turn back the time and undo what has been done except to move on with this sheer fact that keeps consuming your soul.

Flu magnet

Having accustomed to the fact that my body is a magnet for all kinds of flu viruses, I have decided to come out of bed now. The muscular aches have alleviated a bit making me feel quite better.

Spent two hours online surfing aimlessly. I tried to read some poems of Nizar Qabbani but couldn’t carry on so have saved them for later reading. I browsed some of the greeting cards website and for no rational reasons, looked around few get well soon cards. I think I need such cards…. plenty of them! Also, I found a couple of interesting websites for my students, which I’ll tell them to check in my next class.

I am reading a book titled Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy, which, under favourable circumstances, will be finished by tomorrow.

I just finished listening to Payal by JaL.

The song left me reminiscing about my life two years ago. It’s been long but still I think I haven’t gotten over what happened. Just listening to some song took me back to the time when your presence used to linger around me. For a moment I thought you were around but then it was just a thought.

I always admire JaL’s song because there is a pleasing harmony between notes and poetry. When you listen to their song, the words automatically form chords with your feelings. Farhan’s vocals seem to have matured quite a lot.

Dil k taron ko cher kar
Tum kahan chal dye
Sigh.

Who is the slimmest of all?

My sister was looking for an inch tape today. Everyone was wondering what she wants to do with it until I appeased their curiosity by giving the correct answer that she wants to measure her waist. T thinks that she is growing fat. With weighing just 42 kg. at the age of 17, how could one think of growing fat? I wonder when would it be the time for me to worry about waist?

Back with a bang!

Yeah, finally I got a week off. Can’t describe in words that how happy I am. No more troubles of waking in the crack of dawn and wishing with sleep-burned eyes that if only, only, staying home and sleeping could be a full-time job.

More than that, I am happy to get time to rekindle my passion for writing. This time my source of inspiration is children. No doubt, they reflect nature in its purest form. I had never thought that teaching would be so creative and would influence my course of thinking. It’s like writing on their blank little minds with words that will stay there for very long or may be forever. It’s so wonderful to watch their eyes sparkle with surprise and wonder when they hear about something new. O’ really teacher? A kind of response I usually get when I tell them something they haven’t heard before. Everyday is a new day with them. They can amaze you with their responses and can frustrate you with their questions (stupid questions to be honest :D). I love my studnets, all of them!

Rain

It is September and it rained...and rained...and rained... yeah it rained for the whole day.

little drops of rain
twinkle in sunlight
just as tears sparkle in eyes
and -
are as pure as
a drop of a tear!
-Zunairah

Today's word: Hope

Sometimes life doesn't come up with choices. You have to attempt all the questions and move on. It's like moving in a dark passageway and not knowing where and when it's going to end. But there will be light at the end of the tunnel..... a hope that keeps you moving!

Audioslaved!

Music is the only thing that keeps you going when you have skipped your breakfast and been loaded with unchecked copies.
\m/

From the archives of psnob's blog:

Put the things that you've done in bold. And add an extra thing at the end.

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sunrise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight (food be much delicious and powerful commodity to waste)
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger (ok, an acquaintance, but for all intents and purposes, a stranger)
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath/shower
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day (adopted a Punjabi accent and made everyone believe that I came from pind)
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (once)
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Bench-pressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theatre
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to know about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Sword fought for the honor of a woman.
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97 Lied
97. (the real 97) Gone without food for 5 days (more like 3 days)
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest (not in a contest but got prize for most well-dressed lady at party)
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert" (not on a news programme, but I was in some kid’s program)
105. Got flowers for no reason
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas.
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night-stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Moulin Rouge
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour (but oh how i'd drop everything to do that...)
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congressperson
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ...more than once?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion, or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of 100mph or faster?
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery.
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: take, landing, during
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for his or her actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author whom you missed in school, and read him/ her
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office (I was elected as a Prefect and Head of Literary society in school!)
190. Written your own computer language (my Assembly Language teacher would tell you it was definitely not a known language that I wrote in my exams)
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you.
195. Had a booth at a street fair (a school mela, to be true)
196. Dyed your hair
197. Been a DJ
198. Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199. Written your own role playing game
200. Lost your Best Friend for reasons of death
201. Fallen in love over the internet
202. Sung in a Barbers' Shop Quartet
203. Eaten a live animal
204. Been best friends with someone who no one knows about. (Twice).

If the twenty-fourth of August be fair and clear
Then hope for a prosperous autumn that year.
-John Ray, English Proverbs

Standing at the portico, I looked up at the sky
Found a distant star in a galaxy
Like a pearl in a black velvet,
It was shining very brightly

Soft zephyrs blew and I
Strolled along with the breeze
Moving back to the past
With the flood of memories

Standing there once
I had aimed so high
With hopes and dreams above the clouds
I had wished I could fly

Now the times have changed
And so have I
With my feet on the ground
I know I can’t touch the sky

I have put my dreams in my pocket
And so you see
That my eyes still sparkle
Like a distant star -
in a galaxy!

-Zunairah

"the eighth was August
being richly arrayed,
from garments of gold
all down to the ground"
-edmund spencer