To quit or not to quit.... that's the question!

Blogging from school....

I have got a class after 15 mins and I am feeling sleepy =(.
Yesterday, I slept like a baby... slept in the evening at 4 and woke up at 8 then slept again at 11 and woke up at 6 in the morning. Considering my over-sleeping rate i think i need another hibernation period. =p

So true for my boss!

Tomorrow is off.
Tomorrow is off.
Tomorrow is off.

Yaaayyy!!! Thank you Benazir! =p

No wonder, our politicians are the best entertainers!

Eid Mubarak

Mehndi, choorian, colored dupattas, smart attires, an air of celebration and joy – all these are the constituents of Eid.

A happy and blessed Eid to all!

Kahan Hai Tu

Just watched ep's video kahan hai tu on the musik, it makes me sad that the band is not anymore. We had a really cool rock music scene in 2003-04 with ep, noorie and fuzon; rocking the whole nation, even our neighbor also. How cool were the days – singing aloud all ep and noorie songs while sitting together or walking up to the uni gate, spending hours and hours online at their forums, waiting for their gigs and all, listening to their songs million times while studying… life surely, was a bliss! Because of these guys cosmopolitan karachiites actually started watching paki channels. These guys did not only set trends by their videos but also proved that there is more to music than love duets about the fairer sex.

I really miss ep; their music had substance and depth which, many mainstream bands don't have. Of course, the credit goes to xulfi as ep was his brain child but sadly, xulfi is also responsible for band's breakup. Well, the call also rocks but now, we are at the mercy of our pop singers once again – their cheesy songs and glossy videos is all we have to put up with.

Roz roz yeh fasley
Lamha lamha barhney lagey
Bekhudi keh who raastey
Aur hum usee par chal diye

Soch ke saari who batein
Hum usee pe roh diye
Aaj to yeh haal hai
Keh zindagi hum pai hansey

Yeh zindagi teray wastey
Yeh himmat meray haath mein
Yeh chehray meray chehray pai
Yeh saansey

Dheeray Dheeray yeh zindagi
Nafraton mein kho gayee
Yeh aasmaan aur yeh zameen
Aaj hai to kal naheen

Yeh zindagi teray wastey
Yeh himmat meray haath mein
Yeh chehray meray chehray pai
Yeh saansey

Kahan Hoon Mein
Kahan Hai Tu
Kia Hai Yeh Zindagi

Kahan Hoon Mein
Kahan Hai Tu
Kyoon Hoye Ajnabee

Living in the world of hypocrisy
The lies and the deceit
The one who shall rule us all
Will be the one and only one

Watch out! The lyrics that I flow
On your marks... get set go
I’m a white boy comin straight from the L town
Keeping it real I’m a spawn of the underground
I’m the one you hate I’m the one you fear
I’m the voice that whispers inside your ear
Cut ya open deep inside
When ya know what I speak everything is right
Freedom is all that counts
The more you push me the more I'll bounce
Bounce, bounce I said bounce boy
To Base to the kick to the rhythm I deploy
Where ya gonna run where ya gonna hide
When I grab the microphone I say what I like
We're the people of the never ending breed
I am what I am and I am free.

Kahan Hoon Mein
Kahan Hai Tu
Kia Hai Yeh Zindagi
Kahan Hoon Mein
Kahan Hai Tu
Kyoon Hoye Ajnabee

Goodbye Inzi

So, we all bade farewell to Inzi amidst claps and tears. It was a heartbreaking moment to watch him deliver his speech. Sixteen years of cricket history seemed to be contained in that moment. My dad was so touched when he requested robin to speak in urdu to the crowd. Many were on the verge of tears including yours truly. I was hoping he would break miandad's record but then as he said that his heart was so full that the match seemed really difficult today. Yeah, we are a passionate and an emotive nation.

No wonder, he is a cricket legend – we wish him all the best! May Allah bless him!

Back to school

I went to school on Monday after a week off and trust me, I felt good. The only thing I like about this school is my students. It makes your heart burst with happiness when little kids come and ask about your health. Not to mention the plethora of eid cards and teacher's day cards I got. Even my old students brought me cards. Children are strange, interesting little creatures. The more I am strict with them, the more they seem to like me.
May be it's because I talk about their favourite things during free units and take interest in their activities. Trust me; I know all about their favourite cartoons, movies, books, tv shows – indoor, outdoor, computer, play station games. LOL!

Finally, I am breathing again. As time passes, you learn to live with all the hard facts. Though I have nothing to cherish, nothing to hope for – nothing… but to live for present. Well, it's not bad after all… who knows how long I am going to live? =)

And I got 7 days off for eid holidays… this calls for celebration!

It sounds funny when you come to know that some people are still joining orkut…yes, when the majority of the population has moved to face book. After discovering that my IT colleagues didn't know about gmail, orkut (forget mirc, blogs, youtube, firefox, froogle etc etc), I have come to realize that there are people (mostly around me, unfortunately) who are way too behind the time. Living in an Asian third world country, you can expect this though at times, it becomes annoying beyond endurance!

Did I say that I am quitting my job?

Tears keep filling up my eyes, though I have cried pretty much already. Why do I have to go thru all kinds of pain? Few days ago, I said that I won't be able to survive if I have to live my life over again but now I think I don't have enuff strength left to search for the last hope to go on.

People shrouded in lies and falsehoods, kaleidoscope into oblivion, I keep tumbling around those unknown truths and known 'untruths' that have entangled tender threads of my soul but like a mute, I bear it all... without being able to speak up for myself.

Sorrow grows on your soul like fungus and consumes it like parasite – crumbling your very existence with in. People so close – yet so distant, finally disappear into infinite darkness as the distance widens. What surrounds me is a labyrinth of inarticulate facts, lingering doubts, fears and insecurities clouding my mind. Everything seems so hazy and confusing. Dreams appear so clear and at hand – realities so vague and remote….. like in a state of reverie. So lost and hurt, I want to creep inside my hole. With eyes closed, I wish I could rest in the arms of Morpheus!

As friendless after eighteen years, as lone as on my natal day
Emily Bronte (I am the only being, 1836)

Today's thought

If wishes were horses....



If wishes were horses,
beggars would ride
If turnips were swords,
i'd wear one by my side
If 'ifs' and 'ands' were pots and pans,
there'd be no need for tinkers' hands"